This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
