Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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