South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
