I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
