So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
