Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
