It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
