do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Randomize
