Having a random hookup so left but love u
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
