why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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