I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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