dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
