She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
