So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
