i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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