He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
