Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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