just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
