But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Randomize
