even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
The feeling are messing with the penis
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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