so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
