i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
