if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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