Duck Duck Cougar?
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
