i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
