I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
