Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
