She said her name was "party"
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
