grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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