3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
