i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
