she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
