i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
