Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
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