How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Randomize
