im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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