Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
