he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
