I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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