Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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