Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
