oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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