Bisexual people are plain selfish.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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