He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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