it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Is it because I queefed?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
