im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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