I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
