Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
