haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Randomize
