Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
