I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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