Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
